I went to Boulder last summer to attend the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics. It was a magical two weeks. I came home expecting full-on life clarity! All questions answered! Look at me, I'm a Buddhist now! Come read my soon to be published manuscript! All of my pants now have elastic waistbands! Where are my prairie dresses? etc.
Staring down the reality that I was way too excited to have a glass of seltzer Friday night (I just interpret that as meaning that I am craving more enriched, visceral experiences than that of beverages), I sat down to write this blog. I was missing Boulder all week, and dreaming and scheming my next adventures. Here are my best and worst memories.
1. I rented a bike, which had an ungainly front basket, and the first thing I did was careen into Boulder Creek and lightly scrape my knee. A guy who was fishing helped me climb back onto the path. "You can't be both, you have to choose," he said enigmatically, pointing at the path, then back at the creek. This struck me as funny and wonderful.
2. The reason I had to rent a bike from the tourist kiosk was because the "free" bike I was entitled to (with my Summer Writing Program tuition) was locked in the bike shack. No one had the key to the bike shack because the band who practiced in the bike shack supposedly broke up. That's why I couldn't get my free bike.
3. My friend Molly found a lost dog, a very scared and wet Golden retriever (later on I learned his name was Pete). She had to catch a bus so my friend Beckee and I walked around the neighborhood trying to find his owners. I approached a guy who was standing in his garden but was suddenly embarrassed when I realized he was actually showering in an outdoor shower. Not naked, but in a bathing suit. He had an ironic mustache and I stammered in such a way I definitely looked like I "liked him more than a friend". I was careful to work into our conversation that I was married, hoping not to disappoint the fit young man. Later on, he was my waiter at the bar down the block and didn't seem to remember me from what I thought was a deeply meaningful moment.
4. At the Boulder Tea House I read a 20 year old waiter three pages of shipwreck notes for a novel I might write. He offered some very good suggestions. He invited me to come up the mountain for some camping and good times*, but I was suddenly terrified he might murder me, so I declined.
5. There was a very serious ten minutes when I considered shaving my head. Thanks to my friend Annette who told me this might happen ahead of time, and said when it happens to give it a few days before I decide. I decided not to. It turns out, I'm super vain.
6. The dorm had no sheets or pillows or blankets. My room had no lamp. I thought the "spartan" atmosphere very Bohemian and cool. Until around midnight when I huddled under my suitcase and cried to Dan that I was coming home early. It turns out, I can't be sassy all the time.
7. The lost dog, Pete, was mine for a few hours. We fell deeply in love. I promised to bring him home with me and told him everything. Everything. Then two stoned kids drove up in a van. "Oh, man, is that Pete?!" they asked with hooded eyes. "Oh, that's Pete. We were looking for him." They took Pete back, just as Animal Control showed up. Pete lives around the block in a house that has tie-dyed Phish t-shirts as curtains.
8. I'm sorry, Pete.
9. I got to Boulder several hours before the dorm was opened. It was over ninety degrees and I was exhausted. I found an air conditioned coffee shop and fell asleep in the back, on top of my backpack, for at least an hour and a half. No one bothered me. No one asked me to buy anything. I was a little embarrassed and snuck outside the back, afraid of getting in trouble for some reason. When I started my classes the next day, three people said they recognized me as the girl who was "passed out in the back of Trident." For some reason I thought it was uncool to say I was jet lagged but never had to defend my nap specifically.
10. A Peeping Tom was arrested at the Naropa campus, drilling holes so he could watch girls go to the bathroom. I saw the cops apprehend a young guy in full-on Buddhist student attire, orange robes and all. It was so heartbreaking. Everyone gathered on the lawn; campus security (and lack thereof) was discussed; a few people delicately suggested that the open campus philosophy might be problematic, since it's hard to tell who is "homeless" or a "traveler" and a "student" or "both" because so many of the men at Naropa have beards, bare feet, etc. Everyone quickly agreed that the Peeping Tom incident was just a blip. It was incredible to see how one incident couldn't break the open minded spirit of the school.
*I'm sure his friends instructed him to "bring nerdy older women who like nautical research" to their bonfire that night.
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