Dear ____________,
Today you offended me/the group with the following offense(s): (Circle all that apply)
*long winded rant about the new Summer's Eve commercial
*referencing “patriarchy” as well as other superstitions again
*paranoid theories about gas station attendants
*telling stories from the 90’s, when feminism was cool
*calling your husband “your partner” in an attempt to be inclusive and sexually ambiguous
Your recommended punishment:
*watch several episodes of Charlie’s Angels in silver hotpants
*listen to Lil’ Jon’s “Get Low” and not comment on misogynistic lyrics (we know you have it in your Ipod anyway)
*spend two days fishing with Uncle Johnny, who thinks women-folk belong in the kitchen
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