Alisa: Hi Tom, thanks for coming over!
Tom Morello: No problem. Always a pleasure.
A: Would you like some wine?
TM: No thanks!
A: I heard you will be a featured soloist on Bruce Springsteen's newest album; anything you'd like to say about that?
TM: Well, it's always an inspiration to work with hands-on artists like Bruce. I grew up listening to Bruce as...
A: (interrupting): I'm sorry, Tom, it's not appropriate to touch my leg that way. I'm a married woman.
TM: Please forgive me. I'm just taken by you. Your new bangs, your skin, your boots. You are just scrumptious.
A: I'm very flattered.
TM: I love your blog. Your poetry really resonates with me. The one you wrote about roads without names--
A: "Roads without Names"?!
TM: That's the one!
A: Wow!
TM: It's like you blogged your way right into my superego.
A: Wow!
TM: I feel like we're twins.
A: But I'm not half-Kenyan.
TM: We're emotionally identical twins.
A: (softly) OOOOOOOOOH!
TM: I would love to cut a song with you for Audioslave.
A: I could write some lyrics. Something about a doomed diaspora?
TM: Or about how we should arm the homeless?
A: Or home the armless?
TM: It's just you're so beautiful and so smart and your blog is so bloggy.
A: Thanks. Oh, my. You really are a delight. Will you do some push-ups and then help me grade some essays and then we can call Bruce Springsteen about going to the Melting Pot together for dinner?
TM: I'm not that into fondue.
A: Damn it, Tom. This is my irrational fantasy.
TM: Do I need to wear a shirt? Bring your dream journal! I want you to read the whole thing to me out loud.
_______
*Did not actually occur
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